“I miss talking to you”, she says. I feel guilty.  My family is Italian. Not talking to your mom on a regular basis might as well be blasphemy.  I’m used to seeing her every other day.

But when I talk to her, something passive aggressive is said.

How are your classes going? You said they were hard “.

I want to be honest and tell her I’m doing horribly. I have a very active 4 year old who constantly wants to play. My mom lives right down the street and doesnt work.  If she is concerned about my classes, why doesn’t she ever offer to help me with her only grandchild ? An hour here or there would help tremendously.  Instead, she chooses to criticise my parenting. “You play with her all day. She needs to play alone. I never played with you guys”.

She DOES play alone here and there…but she’s an only child. I wasn’t.

Also, my mom didn’t play with us, but my grandma did.

My mom doesn’t play with her granddaughter. She doesn’t take her to the park or the library. My daughter plays by herself at her grandmother’s.  That sucks.  So in addition to being the mom, I do the fun stuff that a grandma “should ” do.

My mom wants to talk to me today. I wish she genuinely cared about how I am, but she wants to pry and find out what is going on in my life, and then criticize. My therapist told me to be vague. Not unpleasant, but just vague. I have been doing that, and it feels good not to over-share.




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